Written By: Kathy O’Brien
“I want to ask Jesus into my heart, Mommy.”
The words definitely took me by surprise. I had talked to my daughter about Jesus her entire life, and we had, of course, talked about salvation and what that entails. Even though I knew that when she was ready to accept Christ as her Savior, she would come to me or my husband, the moment still caught me off guard.
“Really? That’s awesome!” I said. We proceeded to have a long conversation about salvation, praying, asking forgiveness, and how to ask Jesus to be your savior.
“I’m just a little scared. When God talks to me, will it be scary?” She asked.
I sat for a moment and thought. In a child’s mind, heck even in an adult’s mind, that thought of a booming voice of God randomly popping up would definitely sound terrifying. I quickly thought about the times that God had spoken to me and how it felt.
“When God speaks to you,” I explained, “I don’t think it is usually like a loud, audible voice. It might be that way for some people, but when God speaks to me, it’s like everything stands still for just a second. In that moment, everything that was messy and crazy and scary suddenly goes quiet. You know that feeling when you get a big hug from someone you love and you feel so much better? That is kind how it feels.” She thought about that for a moment, pondering all we had discussed. “Okay, I’m ready,” she said, with a sweet grin.
After we prayed the prayer, I teared up because, you know, Mommy can’t always keep it together. We talked for a little while longer until I told her that I needed to go get the clothes out of the dryer. The moment I said it, I could see her tense up. Our daughter had recently been battling fear after she had gone through a lock down drill at school, and her fear had gotten so bad that she was even fearful at home. I explained that I would just be down the hall and would be back in less than a minute. She sheepishly nodded and I left the room. When I returned shortly after, she had the biggest smile on her face.
“Mom! The craziest thing just happened! You’re not going to believe it!” she exclaimed excitedly.
“What happened, Kylee?” I asked.
“God talked to me!” She said boldly. Now, I’m not going to lie y’all, when she said this, I have to admit, I was skeptical.
“Really? What did He say?” I asked, half expecting her to tease that He told her she could eat cotton candy before bed.
She looked me right in the eye and said, “When you left, I started thinking about how I was alone and I was scared. But then, it was just like you said; everything got quiet and God said, “‘You don’t have to be afraid.”
I would like to say that we then had a long philosophical conversation about faith, but honestly, I was just in awe of the love of God. The weight of those simple words hit me and I felt God speaking to not only my child, but to me through my child. God knew that there would be times when she was fearful and He knew that was something we both struggled with. He chose that moment, then and there, to do something she could always think back on in fearful and unsure times as the first time God spoke to her and know that she doesn’t have to be afraid. I took Kylee in my arms, held her tight, and cried.
“The Lord is with me; I will not fear.” Psalm 118:6
It is such a simplistic verse and yet it is something that we as women often struggle with. We fear for our children. We fear for the future. We fear rejection from our peers and judgment from those around us. We let fear control so many aspects of our life and for what? What are we actually afraid of? Hear me when I say this, y’all, and I am saying this as someone who absolutely struggles with fear: Fear is a choice. God emboldens us with His love and the Holy Spirit. We literally have the creator of the entire universe on our side and yet, here we are, afraid that Susan down the street doesn’t like us or our life choices. Forget Susan! Whatever it is you are fearful of, whether it be small things like fear of judgment at the drop off line because your kid is too slow at exiting your vehicle, or it’s big things like being afraid to pursue the life you dreamed of, you need to decide to let go of that fear. Fear is a tool that the devil uses to keep you from being the person God put you on this earth to be. God did not make us to be fearful, He made us to be strong and courageous. He made us to be the hands and feet of Jesus on earth! The devil may be pulling you deeper and deeper into that pit of fear but God is there too, hand outstretched, reaching down to pull you out. All you have to do is decide to grab on and leave that fear in that hole where it belongs.
God, you are a mighty God. You have shaped mountains and moved oceans. You created the sun and the stars and You said You hold me above all those things. Thank You for seeing the beauty, power and strength within me. Help me to listen to You and be the person You made me to be. In those times of fear, help me to remember how big You are. Help me to face the giants of my life with a brave spirit and let go of fears that I have allowed to hold me back. Thank You for never leaving my side and being a God that is unwavering in love and support. Amen
Written By: Kathy O’Brien