I am beyond blessed. I have a loving, supportive husband. I have three rambunctious, funny, and smart kiddos. I have a beautiful home filled with more than I need. I have friends and family that are too good to me. So why was I feeling so lost? So worthless? So miserable? I felt like a dark cloud was hanging over my head and I was drowning on dry land. I just couldn’t escape it. Nothing I did was helping.
So I turned to God. I began to journal. I wrote my prayers down as if they were love letters to my Heavenly Father. I would write song lyrics that said exactly how I was feeling and would write down words/phrases that I could feel God speaking into my heart. I realized that I couldn’t do it on my own, I needed help. Songs like “Reckless Love” by Cory Asbury, “Rescue” by Lauren Daigle, and “Thy Will” by Hillary Scott & The Scott Family helped me to feel God’s warmth and grace.
With God’s guidance, I spoke with my doctor about how I was feeling. It was with continued prayers and medication and loved ones that I finally began to crawl my way out from under that dark cloud. It was a slow, uphill battle, one that I fight every day. I always knew that He was there holding me up. God is so full of love, it’s immeasurable, and true. He has made each of us His masterpiece and we are beautifully and wonderfully made in His image. Even knowing all of these facts, it can still feel like drowning. This is what depression does to you. There is a war going on inside your head. Let me be the first to tell you if you didn’t already know, you are not alone! Your feelings are valid and real even if they feel minuscule or insignificant. Everything in your world could be going well and yet you just can’t see it because of the fog.The Lord Himself goes before you and will be with you; He will never leave you nor forsake you. Do not be afraid; do not be discouraged. Deuteronomy 31:8 (NIV)Friend, please know you are NOT alone. I’m repeating this because it is true and important. The first step is to admit to yourself that you’ve been feeling this way. Then please, I beg you, talk to someone about it. Please know that God loves you so much, in your high points as well as in your lows. The amount of His love never changes, never fails. It is unconditional. Always. This is called grace. This is just a single chapter in the great story of your life. God doesn’t make mistakes. He uses these instances to make you relatable so you can reach others for His Kingdom.
There is always a purpose for every blessing and heartache. I believe this to my core. We serve a mighty God.I wanted to be vulnerable about where I’ve been because I feel it is important to be open and honest. I want others to know that there is a light at the end of the darkness.
You are loved. You are cherished. You are wanted. You are fully known. You are NOT alone.
- Have you been suffering with depression and keeping it hidden from those around you?
- In what ways has God shown you how mighty He is, and just how loved you are by Him?
Written By: Lucy Thompson
