Written By: Andrew Kirk, Director of Generation 2 generation, Website – www.G2gMandate.org, Social Media – @G2gMandate
Transparency in small groups seems to be very much focused on the adults with the expectation that children and teens are removed from the room. Adults say it isn’t appropriate for the children and teens to hear, yet they often have already overheard or are very aware at home. If what is being shared is that sensitive, it probably isn’t appropriate to share with all the adults but reserved for one on one counsel. The small group is only one element of community.
Children need to hear adults being vulnerable and honest about mistakes, seeing how to respond and move forward in greater freedom. When we remove them, it doesn’t help prepare them for the years ahead. When children think adults are never wrong because they don’t see them owning their sin, it can result in them blaming themselves when things go wrong. Teenagers, too, need adults to lead the way. Adults think they will be respected less, but the opposite is true.
Children and teens are affected by adults issues, yet are so often not included in the journey to resolution. Repentance and apologies are rare in the home, but the small group is the community that should be a mirror for homes.
Being naturally vulnerable, children can lead the way. They are our role models if we allow space for them. NEVER let anyone laugh when a child is being vulnerable. An adult would be upset so much if this happened to them, yet we think it’s ok to laugh at children’s honest innocence. Adults being honest and sharing in a way that is appropriate for all generations, role-models openness, admitting mistakes, and shows that with care and encouragement, there is ultimately a better way forward.
Children can be included in praying for the adults and vice versa. Biblically, children and young people were present as part of the church in homes (Acts 2:46), even if they did fall asleep and fall out a window (Acts 20:9)! Children and teens need to know that adults have similar battles (e.g., anger, fear, doubt). They need to see adults confessing their sins one to another and gaining the victory (James 5:16), knowing they can too.
Generations experiencing transparency together in small groups prepare the emerging generation for these days when people are trying to get away from personal responsibility. Don’t deny them the opportunity to imitate our transparency and develop vulnerability that leads to wholeness in community.
Written By: Andrew Kirk
– (First published in the Joel Comiskey Group).
