Written By: Tayler Cathrine
Recently, we had a “Man Panel” at my MOPS group. This was an excellent way for us to pin down some dads and husbands and ask lots of questions for an hour. I know it was a huge task to ask men to talk for an hour, but they gave some really enlightening perspectives. I want to share with you one of the questions asked during the panel.
As women, we often talk about MOM GUILT!!!! But no one seems to talks about it before you’re a mom. Why not?! It would have been nice to know in advance because it can hit you immediately after becoming a mother.
So what was the question asked to these men? “Do you get Dad Guilt like we get Mom Guilt?” One of the men said, in all honesty, “What is Mom Guilt?” I was shocked! So what is Mom Guilt? It can vary from a feeling that we didn’t clean enough, to we didn’t spend enough time with our kids. We worry we didn’t teach them enough, or have enough patience, or buy them the right thing, or that we’re not cooking gourmet meals. Mom Guilt can lead to completely neglecting ourselves to give our kids everything because we feel like we can’t allow ourselves some R&R!
WHAT?!? That is insane and an unhealthy mindset.
When did we stop giving ourselves grace? Did we ever give it to ourselves?? Mom Guilt comes in so many forms and so many ways. But ladies, I want to tell you that Mom Guilt does not need to reside in us the way that it does. I truly feel that this is an area where the devil tries to come in and beat us up for doing our best and for being good stewards as a mother.
I want to point out that nowhere in the Bible does God say, “All the dishes must be done. All the laundry must be washed and put away daily. The house MUST be spick and span. Make sure to make a gourmet meal at every meal.”
But God does say:
“Train up a child in the way he should go; even when he is old he will not depart from it.” (Proverbs 22:6 ESV)
“Fathers, do not provoke your children to anger, but bring them up in the discipline and instruction of the Lord.” (Ephesians 6:4 ESV)
“The rod and reproof give wisdom, but a child left to himself brings shame to his mother.” (Proverbs 29:15 ESV)
“Discipline your son, and he will give you rest; he will give delight to your heart.” (Proverbs 29:17 ESV)
Now I know some parents are against spankings, but it doesn’t take away from discipline. We are told to train our children. That can be done in various ways. Recently, my son broke a car window. We came up with an action plan of how he will pay for the broken window. We had to have a serious talk and teach about anger. He was not let off the hook for his actions but taught and filled with God’s Word on anger and taking responsibility.
God commands us to train and teach our children; not to have guilt over dirty dishes. Dirty dishes do not equate to being a bad mom. Yes, we should be good stewards of what we have, but if there is anything we can take away from scripture regarding raising children, it is to raise them in the way to go.
Here are some practical ways to incorporate God’s Word throughout the day:
- We have this Bible reader, and my kids go to bed every night listening to it. They say they’re not ready for sleep unless it is playing. The amount of Bible knowledge these children have obtained is astonishing. It has me learning. You can find it here: Bible Reader
- Having worship music playing throughout the house or in the car. My kids love the Veggie Tales CDs in the car.
- Reading scripture aloud and or reading the Bible in front of your children. Show them what it looks like to be in the word daily. They copy what they see.
- Be in prayer. It’s okay if they catch you praying. Show them it is something that can be done at any time of day. We pray before they eat, pray before they leave for school, we pray for people if we see an ambulance or accident. We pray if we have a bad attitude or need forgiveness. Incorporate it throughout their day so that having a relationship with God is a natural habit for them.
Let’s fill ourselves with truth and grace.
You won’t want to miss out on the answer to “Do dads have Dad Guilt?” in our next blog coming out in a few days!
I pray that you will guide me daily on how to train my children. To give me wisdom on how to discipline and teach each child. To mold them in the way you have designed them. I pray to be sensitive and quick to hear Your guidance. I pray Your mercy and grace over me as I learn. Thank You for Your teaching, faithfulness, and guidance.
In Jesus name,
Written By: Tayler Cathrine