Written By: Clarissa Mangaran
Anyone who knows me knows how much my heart longs to do right by my kids. I don’t need to be perfect, not that it’s attainable, but I want to give the best of myself that I’m capable of to my family. And my shortcomings as a mother are precisely what the enemy uses to fill me with discouragement and disappointment. But…I have a not-so-secret weapon. You see, God has taught me how praise and worship is the best retaliation against anything that would come against my faith.
During Thanksgiving break, I received a phone call from the kids’ dentist saying they had a cancellation, so there was an opening for my oldest. It was perfect timing. The kids were off from school so I wouldn’t have to worry about fitting it between pick-ups and drop-offs, or worrying about her missing any school, etc. All I had to do was set my alarm to remind me that afternoon. The appointment time came and went. I missed it. It seems so insignificant in the grand scheme of things to miss an appointment. But when I am juggling multiple school schedules, nap schedules, doctors’ appointments, dentist appointments, orthodontist appointments, everyday errands, and daily responsibilities around the house, one missed appointment, especially when the timing was perfect, becomes a really big deal. My mind quickly spiraled with negative thoughts. It wasn’t long before I was in tears, completely overwhelmed with frustration and disappointment.
But God. He reminded me of the message at church from just the day before. It was a message I’ve heard several times before, but for some reason, it really resonated with my heart that day. We are to praise and worship God in the good times and the bad; when our hearts are filled with joy and when they’re filled with sorrow; when our path in life is clear and when we have no idea what lies ahead. We are to sing our praises to the Lord, all the same, joyfully proclaiming our gratitude for the God who created life, who cares for us, and who is victorious! Together as a church, we sang these lyrics, written by a girl in our youth group:
Even when it hurts, we’ll praise You.
Even when the walls are caving in,
Even when I don’t know what to do,
I’ll praise You.
So right there and then, as I cooked dinner, I began to sing those lyrics out loud, over and over, and over again. I refused to give the enemy another minute of my mind. On my iPad, I blasted “Yes I Will” by Vertical Worship and “Grateful” by Elevation Worship. I wept as I sang, pouring my heart out to God telling Him how thankful I am for all that He has done in my life, for the children I get to care for, for the food I was cooking, and for anything I could think of. By the time dinner was served, I was able to enjoy our meal with laughter and good conversation with the husband and the children I am blessed with. Praise and worship work. My circumstances hadn’t changed, but my heart was no longer in anguish. It was filled with joy and thanksgiving.
And it wasn’t the last time I would need to sing praises to turn my thoughts around, and it won’t be the last. On Wednesday, I completely missed my son’s class party. His teacher urged every parent to be there because the kids had a surprise for us. I did everything to set myself up for success. Multiple digital and physical calendars marked. Alarm set. But my alarm never went off. Eleven o’clock came and went. When I picked him up, it seemed strange that there were no other students in the class, and it hit me. I missed it. I apologized, but my typically jovial son simply nodded and didn’t say a word as he helped his teachers clean up the classroom. My heart broke as I thought of him watching all the other parents walking into the class, and his mom never showed up, and as his classmates presented their gifts to their parents, he had no one to give his to. Ugh! Again, I was in tears as my mind quickly filled with negative thoughts.
I suck. I just can’t get it together. I’m a terrible mom. How could I forget?
But God. He reminded me of the truth. I am a mother doing my best. My kids are safe and well cared for and loved with intensity. So I sang those lyrics again. I put on worship songs and praised God with everything in me. And once again, my heart was at peace.
We are blessed beyond measure to serve a God who cares about the little things. He gives us so much to be thankful for; it is impossible to put them all in words. He gives us this incredible weapon to use against discouragement and worry. He is the source of our healing, joy, and freedom. I invite you to do the same amid your good times and your bad. Sing your praises to the Lord who loves you, provides for you, and who has your eternity in His hands.
Written By: Clarissa Mangaran
