(Un)Organized

I love organization. Give me a clean room with a place for everything and everything in its place and I’m a happy girl. Seeing cluttered countertops, messy floors, and dusty surfaces puts me in a funk. By nature, I’m a very organized person. I have routines, I like things done a certain way, and when my husband asks me where a particular item is, I can generally tell him exactly where to find it, down to which side of the cabinet and particular shelf.

But, can I tell you a secret? My house is a wreck. I keep certain areas (mostly) clean but you can consistently find my 16 month old child’s toys all over our living room floor, dust on our entertainment center, my countertops cluttered (by my standards), and laundry sitting in the dryer waiting to be folded. Just recently, I vacuumed our stairs for the first time in weeeee…no, I want to be honest with you. The stairs hadn’t been vacuumed for about 3 months. Shortly after that, my sweet husband, who had no idea I finally vacuumed them, started walking upstairs and yelled back to me “The stairs smell really clean!” Now of course he meant it as a good thing, but all I could do was facepalm and shake my head about how bad I let them get.

In the grand scheme of things, I don’t have a lot of responsibilities. I know there are women out there who work 40 hours a week, commute an hour each day, manage to get a home-cooked meal on the table for their families, and shuttle their kids to and from the various activities on their busy schedules. I know others who are fantastic stay-at-home moms who keep immaculately clean, welcoming homes, switching up their decor based on season, all while being super hands on with their kids. There are many times I can’t help but compare and wonder “How do I manage to fall behind in my duties with what little is on my plate while other women are accomplishing far more with the same amount of time?”

Logically, I know I’m not seeing their full lives. Maybe they don’t spend as much time with their family as I get to spend with mine. Maybe they’re burnt out because they haven’t been able to partake in an activity that would help them destress. Maybe they’re exhausted because they only get 6 hours (or fewer) of sleep every day. Or maybe I am getting an accurate shot of their lives and they’re just totally killing it.

But, you know what? It’s ok. Not everything that works for someone else is going to work for me. Not everyone has the same priorities. I don’t even have the same priorities I’ve had in the past. Now, it’s true, I do need to take good care of the things God has blessed my family with, and not be wasteful with the time I’ve been given. So, I’m working on balance.

Isn’t it funny, though, when you ask God for something, whether it be patience, more grace for others, or, in my case, better time management and drive to accomplish things, He doesn’t just give you those things, but rather situations in which you get to work at those things? That’s where Women Soaring has come in for me. I’ve thought many times about stepping back because I can’t seem to keep up with the few responsibilities I’ve been given. But every time that thought crosses my mind, I feel a little tug from the Holy Spirit: “Isn’t this exactly what you’ve been wanting to work on in yourself? Use this opportunity to do that while helping further God’s message. You can do it.”

Here I am. In all my (currently) unorganized glory, letting God work on and through me.