Written By: Alora Yee
I bet you’ve had the same questions I have when reciting “The Serenity Prayer”. Here’s a recap:
“The Serenity Prayer”
God, grant me the serenity to accept things I cannot change, Courage to change the things I can,
And the wisdom to know the difference.
Living one day at a time,
Enjoying one moment at a time,
Accepting hardships as a pathway to peace,
Taking as Jesus did,
This sinful world as it is,
Not as I would have it,
Trusting that You will make all things right,
If I surrender to Your will,
So that I may be reasonably happy in this life,
And supremely happy with You forever in the next.
Amen
By Reinhold Niebuhr
What about being in the midst of those hardships? What about this sinful world I am forced to live in?
What about those situations and people I cannot change?
What about them?
We must first evaluate what is ours to control and then evaluate what is the responsibility of others – as well as God’s.
“I am Alora, responsible for Alora’s feelings and actions. I am not others’ feelings, I do not need to take responsibility for others’ actions. My identity is not found in other people; my identity is not found in my parents, my spouse or my children. My identity is found in who Christ says I am. I am Alora. I am a child of God. And I am only in control of myself, not anyone else and certainly not what is God’s.
This can be such a hard concept when we feel so deeply for others. Isn’t giving advice and helping to fix others a good thing? How can caring too much be bad? Well, when we step into what is not ours to control or fix, we get in the way of what is theirs to learn and grow from. Caring too much becomes unhealthy and unbiblical.
Often times when a friend of mine is in distress, I want to rescue and fix and give all the advice I know. But what am I doing here? I’m telling them what to do; I’m not allowing them a voice or the encouragement that they are in control and can do all things through Christ who strengthens them!
Scripture tells us:
Proverbs 4:25-27 – “Let your eyes look directly forward, and your gaze be straight before YOU. Ponder the path of your feet; then all YOUR ways will be sure. Do not swerve to the right or to the left; turn YOUR foot away from evil.” (emphasis mine)
Galatians 6:2-5 – “Carry one another’s BURDENS, and in this way you will fulfill the law of Christ. For if anyone thinks he is something when he is nothing, he deceives himself. Let each one examine (determine the genuineness of) his OWN work. Then he can take pride in himself and not compare himself with someone else. For each one will carry HIS OWN LOAD.” (emphasis mine)
The difference between a burden and a load is that a burden is something we cannot carry on our own and a load is something we can most definitely carry on our own.
Now let’s talk about those “others”. You know, the situations and people which are out of your control.
All the stuff we can’t control; all those people who are just not with the program as hard as we try to fix and help them, and make it all easier for them, I say this with grace and love, they can carry their OWN load. And guess what, God has it under control! He is sovereign and works all things for the good of YOU and all the “others”! He’s big enough for it all.
In the story of Joseph, there are many devastating situations he was at the mercy of, and by no means in control of. The most traumatic was being sold as a slave by his own brothers! My favorite part of the story of Joseph is of course, the end when he states before all of his brothers, this forgiving statement filled with praise in the work of God, “As for you, you devised against me evil, but God devised it for good in order to do, like this day, to preserve alive a great nation.” (Genesis 50:20)
Sometimes it feels as though life is unfair for ourselves and for those we are close to. We must hold tight to the promises of God; “trust that He will make all things right, if we surrender to His will”, having confidence that our God will bring us to a place of serenity. As well as those “others” around us.
Our struggles, our feelings and emotions, are very real. It is so important to have a voice and to get out into the light, to confess to another, what is corroding our temple God has blessed us with. Most who recite “The Serenity Prayer” are in a place of bondage. Fighting for a healthy lifestyle and boundaries, and speaking up for ourselves may not always look the way we expect. We often think others will treat us the way we treat them. But remember, our actions don’t control the actions of others either! Jesus knew this all too well as His efforts of love and grace were returned with betrayal and the crucifixion.
Friend, fight for healthy anyway (emotionally, spiritually, physically, etc.). Fight for those boundaries anyway: for your yeses to be yeses and your noes to be noes! Fight for serenity. You deserve safety and trust in YOURSELF, in GOD, and all the parts of your world that you CAN control. Your voice is worthy to be spoken; your opinion and feelings matter! It’s not about how your voice might change another or fix another, it’s just about you having a voice, period! God sees all your efforts. We are called to be “doers” of the Word, so DO anyway, no matter the reaction or response you get from it, God is in control.
I encourage you today to recite “The Serenity Prayer” knowing God sees all your effort and your heart. And that He sees the efforts and hearts of “others”, too! Take care of what YOU can, and trust that God is in control and sovereign over ALL the rest!
If you are surrounded in darkness today: “Fight the good fight of the faith. Take hold of the eternal life to which you were called when you made your good confession in the presence of many witnesses.” (1 Timothy 6:12)
God tells us: “For I know the plans I have for you – plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give YOU hope and a future.” (Jeremiah 29:11 NIV) [emphasis mine]
What might be distracting you from keeping your eyes on your own race ahead? A situation? A specific person who is constantly ignoring your voice or belittling you? Perhaps, your own thoughts are your worst enemy?
I am here to tell you today, you are loved, you are worthy. God has given YOU a promise of eternal life, life to the fullest, never alone, always seen, full of hope, grace and mercy. He has already forgiven you and He wants you to rest easy in YOUR OWN works knowing, truly knowing, in your mind, body, heart and soul… He’s got YOUR back!
Written By: Alora Yee
