Written By: Lucy Thompson
I’m human, I’m a sinner. I have a bad temper and I say bad words and yell at my children and husband. I’m not proud of this at all. And I feel so much guilt for not being more in control over my actions and thoughts. This is why I’m so thankful for God’s grace and forgiveness.
For the last few years, I have felt God telling me to “be the light”. How in the world can I be the light if I behave and talk the way I have been? I feel like such a hypocrite. How can I draw others toward His Kingdom if I’m not looking toward the Kingdom either?
Matthew 5:14-16 says, “ You are the light of the world. A city on a hill cannot be hidden. Neither do people light a lamp and put it under a bowl. Instead they put it on its stand, and it gives light to everyone in the house. In the same way, let your light shine before men, that they may see your good deeds and praise your Father in heaven.”
This is what my soul yearns for: for other people I interact with to see me and see that I am different because Jesus lives in me and wants to know more about my Heavenly Father.
I honestly don’t have any answers or easy steps toward success to give you, I am a work in progress myself. However, I feel that by being honest about where I’m struggling, it will help to keep me accountable and try harder to change the past behaviors.
Do not conform any longer to the pattern of this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind. Then you will be able to test and approve what God’s will is – his good, pleasing and perfect will. Romans 12:2
I’m praying to my Heavenly Father to change my thoughts so I don’t even think hurtful words or treat others poorly. I desperately want to be that light that shines brightly and give massive praise to God. I want to be different and for it to be noticeable. I am a child of God!
Have you ever been talking to someone or been around someone and you can just tell there is something different about them, they seem to glow from within? And you just crave more time with them so you can find out what that difference is and how to be that way too? I want to be that person that just glows. I yearn to have that bright light as an aura around me that draws others like a moth to a flame so that I can love on them like Jesus would. Jesus loved all people regardless of their sins and of their past. He loved on them and inspired them to change and put God first in their lives.
I desperately want Jesus to use me, I want to be His vessel to do His work here on earth. My heart breaks so much that I get sidetracked and put myself and things before Him. I’m working on getting my priorities straightened out and remembering to keep God first so that everything else will fall into line. And I know that I’m saved through God’s grace, it’s not my works that get me into Heaven. I know this without a shadow of a doubt. I’m not trying to earn my way into Heaven. I desperately want to work FOR God, there’s a massive difference.
“For it is by grace you have been saved, through faith – and this not from yourselves, it is the gift of God- not by works, so that no one can boast. ” Ephesians 2: 8-9
A dear friend of mine recently looked up my name in Hebrew. I had never thought to do this before and I was very surprised to learn that my name means “light”. How cool is that?! God is just telling me to live up to my name and I’m definitely going to try my best. I’m going to continue to pray and give my words, thoughts, and actions over to God. I encourage you to do the same. Let’s all see where He leads us!
Written By: Lucy Thompson