Written By: Ijeva Zandofsky
[My dear friend and sister-in-Christ posted this on her Facebook wall. Although not intended to be a blog, I knew it would encourage some mamas out there to take a bad day, give it over to the Lord, and turn it around into a memorable moment. My prayer is that women see that we all have bumps in the road throughout motherhood…and from what I hear, I'm not quite sure it ends once your children are grown.]
Well, today was tough.
You wouldn’t know that seeing this picture.
My youngest lost ALL of his toys today. Yup. All of them! My oldest was sensitive, whiny, and bossy! (I wonder where she gets it from.) I was cranky. I was short. I was impatient.
I was completely done.
I just wanted the world I was involved in to go away. Yes, this was even after some good Bible time this morning. One of the worst feelings in the world as a parent is when you don’t know what else to do with your kid after you’ve tried everything. Jeff is just six, but boy- let me tell you!
So after a few grumpy and unpleasant events with my kids this morning, I threw in the towel. I mean, I was done! Then, I had the brilliant idea to get mad at God. Yup! I know what you’re thinking. “Really!? Is this the kind of day You ordained for me, Lord! Why!? I’m not good at being their mom lately. I am screwing this up. I have nothing left. I. Am. Done! Where are You? Are You there? Can You please help me!” I was sobbing at the end of this conversation/prayer/heart-cry on my son’s bed.
I texted Zach at 9:30 am, something like, “Please pray for our kids and me…” Thankfully, as any good husband would do, he did just that. Right after that text, I decided we were done with school. We were going to take a break! We were going to change things up a bit. I thought we had developed a good healthy routine at home, balancing everything. But in reality, it was taking a toll on my kids and me, and I didn’t see it.
We took a drive and ended up at the beach for 3 1/2 hours – pretty much alone! (This was a public beach, ya’ll and a pretty popular one!) I cannot tell you enough how much I needed this beach day with my kids. They didn’t want to let me go tonight – even after our rough morning.
I’m posting all my raw details for that mom who doesn’t know what else to do. Who’s had the worst day with her kids. Who is fed up. Who’s hurt. Who’s messed up and doesn’t know if she can undo what she just did. Who feels alone and defeated and unseen. Who is checked out!
1. If you pray, realize the Lord can turn EVERYTHING AROUND when you seek Him first. When we lack wisdom, or our tank is empty to love our kids or our spouses, He encourages us to ask Him because He will give us wisdom generously. If you don’t pray or know the Lord, I encourage you to reach out to someone you know who does. Let them know what you need prayer for or what your family needs. It’s a blessing to be able to pray for others.
2. Get out of the house as much as you can. Not just in your backyard/front yard. Get out and about! I thought this quarantine would be ok, but my kids can only be contained for so long after so many days stuck in the house. Get out of the house and drive somewhere if you can. Eat the ice cream. Let the house be messy for one night. It won’t be messy forever. Let them be kids in their own home. This was hard and convicting for me and still is. A messy living room stresses me out! I have to let a lot of things go, and be ok with it- just for this season.
3. Lastly, this was a day the Father appointed for me (long before time). I would love to be able to take back my words and actions from today, but in reality, I can’t. But I do know someone that can restore what was damaged. Boy, did He restore a lot today! It’s been a long time since we’ve had a “good day,” and it’s been a long time since my kids looked at me and loved on me the way they did tonight- the way we all did tonight.
So, I hope this speaks to someone out there. You’re doing great, Mom (Dad, and/or grandparents)! Today may have been rough, but guess what. It’s ok. This doesn’t mean you’re a bad mom. Even on your worst day, no one (and I mean NO ONE) on this planet can give those kids what YOU give them. You know why? Because God ordained you to be their parents. I pray that someone would be encouraged by reading this. If nothing else, let this be only to glorify You, Lord, and what You have done for us!
Written By: Ijeva Zandofsky